It's not easy to accept that someone you knew just died recently. This person might be one of your relatives, friends, classmates, neighbors or just an acquaintance. It is even more difficult to believe that a person died even if you just saw him yesterday. What more if that person is very close to you?
For the past 4 months, I have known three people who just died. One of them was very close to me since I knew him ever since I was born. This person was like a brother to me and one of my churchmate. He just recently died a couple of days ago due to a motorcycle accident. This sudden death makes it harder for us all to believe that he is now gone. How much more for his family? People might say that there is a reason why this had happened and the family will soon get over this. However, it is not that simple.
During my college years in the nursing profession, I have watched a lot of people died. I feel pity on the family left behind all the time especially when they all cry and mourn. But now, I do understand what it feels like when someone dearly close to you died.
It takes a lot of time to heal what is lost. Kubler-Ross (1975) states that the normal grieving process would usually take from 3 months to 6 months. More than this specific interval is not healthy anymore. It also tells us about the 5 stages that each person will encounter after loosing someone.
The first process in the 5 stages. This is when the person doesn't accepts the truth that has happened.
In this stage, the person will easily get irritated to all that surrounds him. As the word says, he will be very angry to everyone and even accuses others for the situation. The person would usually ask in this situation is "Why?"
This is the time when the person will bargain to God. Most of the people would say the "if's" like "if I could just..." or "If only I had..."
Through this time, the person doesn't want to eat anymore, cannot sleep and doesn't even want to mingle with others. This is the stage where the person reflects all by himself. However, this is also the most critical stage of all. This can lead to major depression and most to suicide. So, it is best to keep a close watch on the mourning person during this stage.
This is where the person accepts the reality and what has already happened. The time of recollection, letting go and remembering all the happy times together with the person he lost.
The five stages of the grieving process does not necessary mean that all people will immediately go to acceptance. Sometimes, they get stuck at bargaining and going up again to denial. However, it is best to give support, encouragement and feelings of security to the grieving person.